Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
