By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
