Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
