Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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