Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
