You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
