the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
you are never too drunk for berry picking
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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