This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
