Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
