Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
