Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
