I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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