take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize