3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
