haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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