Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Randomize
