u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
love makes seman taste better
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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