yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
