Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
