Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Pappa wants mamma naked
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
