i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
