Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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