I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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