made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
