After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
