The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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