i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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