She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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