I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You're like the curious george of whores
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
