so that wasnt chicken after all
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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