NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
