I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
