I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Are we still banned from the library?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
