you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
