It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
