so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
