Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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