I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Randomize
