The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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