Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
