you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
