there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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