k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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