Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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