i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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