I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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