I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
