I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
