My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
