did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
